안녕 {Hello} from Korea!

City of Love

             White little clouds appear as I exhale into the sharp-cold air, every breath calm and steady as the one before. Step by step, I look down, seeing fallen crimson and mustard leaves speckling the sidewalk ahead. That feeling of overflowing gratitude envelopes me while I trail the autumn leaves leading to the school I’m teaching at in 남원시: Namwon, South Korea. Namwon is a city in North Jeolla province in South Korea. It's about an hour away from the food capitol of Korea, Jeonju, which is about three hours away south of Seoul. Namwon is known as the “City of Love” (just my luck) because of the well-known Korean romance novel of Chunhyang Sung. I like Namwon; it feels like a genuine experience of the Korean culture. Many travellers think of Seoul or Busan, which are great metropolitan cities with an abundance of night life, shopping, attractions, and Korean street food; however, smaller cities like Namwon have a sort of cultural authenticity. There are certain mannerisms, community, cultivation, and city development. I enjoy observing these aspects of Korea in smaller cities and partaking in cultural exchange. Namwon is really starting to feel like home to me. Walking to Yongseong Middle School, I realize that I am nothing in this world without one thing. The air chills my flesh, yet loving warmth is delivered into my spirit. 

남원시: Namwon-si

             A couple of weeks ago I was feeling so swamped with the 빨리빨리: “Pali Pali” culture in Korea, which translates to “fast fast.” It's one thing to research and prepare for a new job, country, culture, language, people while at still home in the U.S.— but it is totally different when you are physically going through it all at once. The reason why I desired Korea in the first place was because I wanted to challenge myself and see what I was made of. I craved adventure, spiritual growth and challenge in facing the unknown. The moment I was questioned “Why don’t you do it [teach abroad], Michelle?” an unexpected passion in me kindled. Something was very intriguing about immersing myself into another culture and language for a year to experience the ebbs and flow of a country [Cough, cough plus K-POP and amazing food].  It was all about testing myself mentally and emotionally, but I was not considering it physically.   

            In the first two weeks, I moved into my apartment and met so many new faces — foreign teachers, my Korean co-teachers, my middle school students, another set of Korean teachers and students at a different middle school in a rural city called 사매면: Sannae-myeon, which is one hour away by bus from Namwon. The Jeonju Office of Education appointed me to teach there every Thursday. The one hour ride goes by quickly because the scenery is absolutely poetic and stunning. Roughly 80% of Korea is mountainous, so the ride to Sannae was verdant luxury – all rolling and blooming mountains of green. This was my life now on weekdays. I went from having three students a day in my job with children who have autism to managing and teaching about 140 students a day. It was a huge change and obviously on top of that I’m experiencing bits of culture shock intermittently. My culture shocks are sudden in-the-moment realizations that I am living in South Korea. I wake up in the morning: Oh, this is definitely not California. I’m at school and my students yell “An-yeong-haseyo TEACHA with polite nods: I can’t believe I’m here teaching! I’m in a vehicle: I’m travelling to Yangyang-gun with a family of South Africans to meet with another teacher from South Africa. What?!  You know -- just casual life for me now. Everything is so different and I don’t understand most of what people are conversing about, but I just roll with it. Korean language is beautiful and I don’t mind it at all.    

          On the third week, all new EPIK  [English Program in Korea] teachers (131 of us) had mandatory orientation. I attended several lectures and walked away with an ESL toolbox of ideas to use in the classroom. It was encouraging and inspiring for all the teachers, and I could really see people making meaningful connections with one another. I got close to a handful of teachers there; we shared war stories about our schools, condensed-milk churros topped on the milkiest of soft-serve ice creams, and explored random things around Seoul. We saw live street talents, food for days, skin-care products for days, couples with matching outfits taking selfies, foreigners doing tourism, a million Paris Baguettes,  norebangs (Korean karaoke)…which we totally did on the last day of orientation. I also attempted to devour Korea. Yum. At the very end we all bid our adieus and EPIK coordinators transported us back out to our cities. It was a three hour bus ride back to Jeonju on a Monday for me, plus a one hour bus to Namwon, and the next day I’m back to teaching. Pali Pali. In addition, the weather briskly dropped to about 30 degrees Fahrenheit. And it’s only going to get colder from this point. My Californian body wasn’t prepared for this shift, so I immediately got a seasonal cold – sore throat, headache, and aching everywhere. My schedule and experiences were so accelerated and fleeting. It was so contrary to my personality because I’m the type that likes to breathe and take every moment in, especially while travelling. Physically, I was depleted. I just wanted to push a pause button somewhere or have one day of alone time. But this was the nature of my new job and I accepted it.  It’s all good until I have moments of self-doubt and disappointment. My physical and mental health was not good and that directly altered my spirit.  Insecurities and fears start influencing my thinking. I didn't get the elementary teaching position I wanted; instead I am teaching middle school, a grade-level I’m not too comfortable with yet. Will I be a good teacher to students? What if I'm unable to manage my own class? What if I can’t do it? Can I really be away from home for a whole year? I felt the pressure coming and a lack of clarity in my purpose.

             Looking at the crimson leaves in the foggy air, I decide to ask why. I channel myself inwardly, halting my mind because I want to hear the voice on the inside. I heard You are here on My terms and what may seem like struggles to you are opportunities for Me to work in you and with you to build your confidence and independence in My grace. Let Me nurture that. I feel a burst of thanksgiving pouring out from my heart. I keep thanking and thanking God for this revelation because I finally understand and am living the scripture “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” {Philippians 4:13} Where I am disappointed, doubtful, down and weak — my faith in God makes me strong and because He is strength and ability. In circumstances where I am not – He is. 

In the Bible, Moses also had a lack of clarity in his calling and identity:

But Moses protested to God, 

“Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? 

Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt? 

God answered, I will be with you. 

And this is your sign that I am the one who has sent you: 

When you have brought the people out of Egypt, 

you will worship God at this very mountain.” 

But Moses protested, 

“If I go to the people of Israel and tell them, 

‘The God of your ancestors has sent me to you,’

 they will ask me, ‘What is his name?’ 

Then what should I tell them?

God replied to Moses, 

“I Am Who I Am. Say this to the people of Israel: 

I Am has sent me to you.” {Exodus 3:11-14}

“Here is God telling Moses who he is… The reason God says 'I am' because it has to do with God’s present-tenseness…and it’s an open-ended statement meaning where you are not — I am…Have you ever thought if there is something that you don’t possess, a skill-set that you don't have that maybe the reason you don't have it and maybe the reason you don't need it to fulfill what God has called you to do because where you’re not, He is? Since when did you believe the lie of the enemy that told you that what you don't have disqualifies you for God’s call? God is not interested in your capability, God is simply looking for availability.” - {Pastor Adam Smallcombe}

         I have so much joy surrendering myself to God and learning that I am nothing in my flesh, yet I find everything in Him when I do it for His glory. I rejoice. His Love continuously overwhelms and immerses me until it abounds above all else. The feeling is like going out a little from shore but there is an intangible, loving Spirit that supports the walk in deep waters. I realize I enjoy teaching middle school students the more I work with them because I’m able to establish a different kind of connection with them. It’s more conversational and you get to know them better. It’s all about the connections with the students that make the job worthwhile. I get happy when I see my students understand something I teach them as well as when my students have the courage to ask for help. There is a lot of shared laughter in miscommunication too; what I hear: "Teacha, I like kimbap." "You like Kimbap?" "No! I like hip hop!!" A second one: "What is the definition of fat?" All students write "dog" or "animal" to show their answers. "Oh no! I didn't mean pet! Fat!!" Then the whole class laughs hysterically. It's small moments like these that I find happiness in. God has helped me shift the focus from myself to the students and help them shine in class. That’s what teaching is all about and my value as a teacher: creating an environment where the students’ strengths are reinforced and where I can learn from them too. It’s a two-way relationship.

There will always be challenges in the new, but I choose to confront and embrace them with Christ in the center of my heart. He is the giving, nurturing spirit that moves within me, a love that sustains and nourishes me. My heart is just engulfed in His presence and I can’t emphasize enough the joy, content and peace God has given me. I love you, Jesus! 사랑해: Saranghae. 

Namsan Tower in Seoul 

Not so Gangnam-style in Seoul

My apartment. Oh the joys of having your own place.

Korean Grandma Cooking Class: Kimbap

Korean BBQ for days

My students <3 Don't underestimate their angelic appearance. 

Mt. Daedunsan

Hanok Village in Jeonju

Sweet couple-owners of Cafe Lotus. They see me at least 3x a week. =]

More pictures to come. I will try to take more travel pictures as I explore Korea. My pictures aren't turning out the way I like them to be because there's a yellowish tint due to a setting in my Rebel Canon DSLR camera (thanks to my cousin Thuy). With the help of my friend Sam, we sort of fixed it. Hopefully, the pictures will turn out okay next time. Thank you for reading - Gamsahabnida! 

Love, 

//m